Singer Arianna Grande broke off her engagement to actor Pete Davidson, and instead of saying, “Goodbye, you goofball,” she said, “Thank you. Next!” Now, what could a 25-year-old pop diva teach us about booking more speaking gigs? Everything!
There are two steps to her approach that you should also keep in mind as a speaker who is looking to attract your perfect audience. First, be grateful for the opportunities you are given. Second, move on when it’s no longer a good fit! Let me show you how it works.
Attracting Your Perfect Audience Starts with Walking Away from a Bad Fit
Let’s apply this approach to John, a member of our Wealthy Speaker School Accelerate class. John is getting asked to do speaking engagements for free, despite having been in the business for several years. And, he’s getting frustrated. Who can’t relate to that?
So what does John need to do? Here are three steps to follow.
STEP 1: GRATITUDE
Let’s assume that John has first explored sponsorships and other possible workarounds for no-budget gigs. If he is unsuccessful in finding a workaround, he can move into gratitude.
Moving into gratitude takes his mind off of what didn’t work, and it puts him into a more positive headspace. Getting stuck in frustration simply isn’t helpful. So John can choose gratitude, and thank the organization for the opportunity.
STEP 2: MOVE ON
After that, John can take his positive attitude and say, “Next!” He can begin his search and move onto other organizations that are a better fit for him.
By getting back on the horse quickly, John is moving toward what he does want and walking away from what he may have considered a loss.
Our Associate Coach for the Accelerate group, Jen McDonough, says:
“John, this is a win! Rather than wasting a year or two marketing to this group, you quickly found out they aren’t a good fit. Now you can free up that energy to serve another audience. Finding out who isn’t a good fit is just as valuable as finding out who is.”
This also backs up what Wealth Coach Frank Kern says:
“When you find something that isn’t working, move on. Then, find what is working and double down on that.”
Our tendency as humans is to fix what isn’t working, and even to fixate on the “one that got away.” But please hear this: don’t take it personally; it’s not about you! You just weren’t the right fit at that moment. It’s not helpful to try to fit a square peg in a round hole.
Every day I have potential clients who cross my path whom I think are a terrific fit for working with me. But, for whatever reason, they hesitate. Possibly it’s about money, and them not feeling fully committed to spending $10K to move the dream of their ideal speaking business forward. I get it; that’s not a small investment.
Do I hound them or continue to go back and ask if they are ready? Heck no! I send one or two very brief email follow-ups, and then I let it be. I know they will circle back when they are ready, or when a gig falls into their lap to pay my fee. It’s been years since I took it personally or got my feathers ruffled because of it.
I think I learned this concept a long time ago when I was in my early 40’s and still single. I had kissed a lot of frogs and was starting to wonder if I was the problem. I read the book “He’s Just Not That Into You” (which has since been made into a movie) and I was liberated! Rather than taking it personally if someone wasn’t a match for me, I just said “Thank you. Next!”
Once my attitude changed about the whole thing, something magical happened—I was able to attract the person who was perfect for me.
STEP 3: GET CLARITY ON WHAT IS PERFECT
This step works for many things, whether you are shopping for speaking gigs, or hiring team members, or dating. It will help you get crystal clear on who your perfect buyer would be. After all, how can you attract your perfect audience if you don’t know what it looks like?
For example, let’s say you are an expert in leadership and influence. Your perfect buyer may be a group that:
- Knows your topic is the one they want (or you can sell the topic to them quickly)
- Recognizes you as an authority (thus, you don’t have to “prove it” over and over again)
- Has your budget (and perhaps could have gone higher)
- Treats you like a special member of their team
- Doesn’t micromanage you, and trusts you to deliver what they need
- Pays gladly and on time
- Manages their event properly so as not to cut your performance time
How’s that for a list? To get your own list started (and finally attract your perfect audience!), think back to some of your favorite clients and start building from there.
To help, we’ve created a great worksheet to help you map this out. Grab it below:
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The bottom line is that you shouldn’t be afraid to move on when a situation isn’t right for you. If you want to attract your perfect audience, it will mean saying goodbye to those audiences that aren’t!
I understand that sometimes you just need to feed the kids or pay the mortgage. When you do find yourself in a good place in your business, I hope you can confidently say “Thank you. Next!” if the fit just isn’t right.
See you soon, Wealthy Speakers!
