Shutting Down the Comparison Game

As I walked into the hot yoga studio in early September, I thought to myself, “Oh no, the students are back!” What did that mean for me? That the room was filled with gorgeous 18-year-old University girls sporting Size 0 spandex on their flawless bodies.

Oh geesh!!! I have to check myself.

The temptation to look in the mirror at the young girls on either side of me is difficult to resist. But one of the first rules of yoga is to focus. So I gear up every ounce of concentration I have and stare directly into the mirror… at myself. I pretend that I’m the only one in the room. And you know what?

focus to avoid the comparison game

It worked. I walked out of the yoga studio not feeling bad or invisible but feeling great that I made it through another 60 minutes of the sweat and the heat.

How to Avoid the Comparison Game

As speakers, we tend to compare ourselves to others. Sometimes, I wonder if it is a part of our DNA!

So, let me ask you: When you see another speaker, what is your first thought? Second thought?

Here are a few questions to ask yourself when you start playing the comparison game.

stop playing the comparison game

1. Is there anything positive to come from this comparison?
2. What is my purpose for comparison?
3. Do I really need to do this to myself?

It’s all about intention. If you are looking at other speakers because you want to learn and grow from their techniques or they spur you to take your content to new levels, then GREAT! I’m all for it and suggest you continue to do that.

But, if you have no particular reason and are simply making comparisons and feeling bad about yourself as a result or if you are making comparisons and say, “why are they getting business, they aren’t as good as me?”, then I have one piece of advice for you.

Stop it. It’s not serving you. Just let it go. And when you talk trash about other speakers to your colleagues, it’s not serving our industry either.

The next time you start to feel yourself slipping into the comparison game, focus hard on yourself in the mirror. Stand tall in your magnificence, find all of the things that you love about yourself and concentrate on those. You have everything you need, just put on your blinders and go about getting that business!

See you soon wealthy speakers!

Jane Atkinson

  • Lloyd Lofton

    Love this tip.

    • speakerlauncher

      Thanks Lloyd!

  • It can be useful to compare our speaker expertise, experience, style and content to others. That is, if our intention is to explore differences. As you point out, we can use comparative information as a learning tool. Our branding is dependent on knowing how we are different in the marketplace. Then building on it. It can also help us to become more authentic on and off the platform. But, if we get caught in judgmental comparisons as in ‘better’ and ‘less than’ we are in trouble. We are wise to primarily focus on our niche, gifts and message. Thank you, Jane for continually sharing your grounded wisdom.

    • speakerlauncher

      Thanks Patricia! Good point about knowing your competition. Knowing them and going green when you see them….. two different things. Well said!