Quote: “I believe that a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle, and we should do everything we can to try to light each other up.” Alan Stein Jr.
How have the last couple of years been for you? Are you finding that you’re doing okay and powering through without a struggle, or have the demands that everyone has faced caused you much stress? On this episode of The Wealthy Speaker Show, we welcome back Alan Stein Jr. to share his thoughts about getting through tough times and discuss ideas to help you combat stress from his new book Sustain Your Game.
Alan is a successful business owner and veteran basketball performance coach. He spent 15 years working with the highest-performing athletes on the planet (including NBA superstars Kevin Durant, Stephen Curry, and Kobe Bryant). Alan teaches proven strategies to improve organizational performance, create effective leadership, increase team cohesion and collaboration, and develop winning mindsets, rituals, and routines.
Read Full Transcript
1
00:00:01.770 --> 00:00:11.309
Jane Atkinson: hey welcome back everyone to the wealthy speaker pod cast Alan Stein jr is here again, thank you so much for coming back on the show.
2
00:00:11.670 --> 00:00:13.769
Alan Stein, Jr.: Oh it's my pleasure it's so great to be with you again.
3
00:00:14.730 --> 00:00:23.460
Jane Atkinson: So remind everybody about kind of your background and how you came to be an expert in the areas of performance.
4
00:00:24.210 --> 00:00:33.450
Alan Stein, Jr.: I spent most of my career in the direct basketball training space and was a basketball performance coach primarily at the Youth in high school level, but had a chance to work with.
5
00:00:33.720 --> 00:00:47.040
Alan Stein, Jr.: about a dozen players that are currently in the nba back when they were in high school and then that afforded me some opportunities with Nike basketball and Jordan brand and USA basketball, so I got an opportunity to work with some already established.
6
00:00:47.760 --> 00:00:54.120
Alan Stein, Jr.: Big name players so i've had a very unique vantage point and seeing what it takes to get to the top of the proverbial mountaintop.
7
00:00:54.390 --> 00:01:07.920
Alan Stein, Jr.: And, of course, what it takes to stay there, and five years ago, I decided to make the distinct pivot from basketball training to corporate keynote speaking and have been enjoying my career as a as a professional speaker for the last five years.
8
00:01:08.010 --> 00:01:19.770
Jane Atkinson: beautiful and so today, what do you think in the performance world inside corporate America, what do you think you know, one of the biggest problems is.
9
00:01:20.280 --> 00:01:36.360
Alan Stein, Jr.: it's the constant recross recalibration that needs to be done, obviously we've all had a major shift in the past two years, with the pandemic and it's kind of refining and recalibrating the things that worked really well prior to the pandemic.
10
00:01:36.600 --> 00:01:50.010
Alan Stein, Jr.: yeah, then the shifts and the pivots that people had to make during the pandemic and now we need to kind of blend the two together and figure out, and I know this is becoming a tad bit overused and cliche but what this new normal is going to look like.
11
00:01:50.340 --> 00:01:54.600
Alan Stein, Jr.: And what do each of us need to do both personally and professionally.
12
00:01:54.930 --> 00:02:09.210
Alan Stein, Jr.: individually and organizationally to show up as our best selves and to make a maximum contribution to those around us and those that we serve and and that's been the height of my work for these you know, last couple of years, in particular, is helping folks make those recalibrations.
13
00:02:09.570 --> 00:02:21.870
Jane Atkinson: I like the word recalibration, so this is coming from a you know, a personal place where I felt as though over coven.
14
00:02:22.830 --> 00:02:41.790
Jane Atkinson: I have had my foot on the gas pedal for so long and honestly Alan I just need a break I just need to stop pushing for a second, what do you say to people who just want to take their foot off the gas for a minute, give me some advice.
15
00:02:42.390 --> 00:02:57.870
Alan Stein, Jr.: I highly encourage it and I highly recommend it, you know it's simply not sustainable, to be on and to be going and to be pushing and to be charging and to be hustling non stop, we have to have intermittent breaks.
16
00:02:58.650 --> 00:03:05.760
Alan Stein, Jr.: You know, and I recommend doing those you know, there should be times during your daily routine where you have some downtime.
17
00:03:06.150 --> 00:03:12.480
Alan Stein, Jr.: There should be times during your weekly routine that you have some downtime monthly, quarterly and yearly.
18
00:03:13.200 --> 00:03:19.560
Alan Stein, Jr.: You know whether that's to the tune of you know and here's a good rule of thumb you know, every day, you should take at least one hour.
19
00:03:20.250 --> 00:03:32.040
Alan Stein, Jr.: To unplug to digitally detox to detach to sit in stillness or to do something that fills your bucket whether that's physically mentally or emotionally with something that recharges your battery.
20
00:03:32.580 --> 00:03:35.670
Alan Stein, Jr.: You should make the time for at least an hour a day to do that.
21
00:03:36.480 --> 00:03:48.240
Alan Stein, Jr.: And during the week, if possible, and I know every week is not the exact same if you have a big project or a Aquino you're preparing for if you're going to launch a course, but every week, you should take at least one day off.
22
00:03:48.600 --> 00:03:56.340
Alan Stein, Jr.: to rest recharge and to fill your bucket i'm a believer that every month, you should take an entire weekend off and unplug.
23
00:03:56.670 --> 00:04:06.960
Alan Stein, Jr.: And then quarterly or yearly make sure you're you're putting in some I guess we'll call them vacations or you know, even if it's a staycation just something where you get away from the normal hustle and bustle in.
24
00:04:07.560 --> 00:04:13.740
Alan Stein, Jr.: That time and energy is actually going to be reinvested, when you get back to work.
25
00:04:14.460 --> 00:04:24.810
Alan Stein, Jr.: you'll be you'll be more focused you'll have more energy you'll be a better version of yourself, so this very much parallels the world that I was in with athletes, you know athletes can't train hard.
26
00:04:25.170 --> 00:04:41.880
Alan Stein, Jr.: Eight hours a day, seven days a week 12 months a year they'll they'll get injured they'll get burnout you know so they have to have rest and recovery after intense workouts practices and games and we as working professionals, especially in the speaking world have to do the same.
27
00:04:42.390 --> 00:04:52.860
Jane Atkinson: Okay well that's making me feel a little better, and you know, I think that unplug piece that you mentioned, is really important, because even when I am on the treadmill.
28
00:04:53.370 --> 00:04:59.970
Jane Atkinson: I have my phone right there right why can't I just put the phone aside for an hour.
29
00:05:00.330 --> 00:05:09.840
Jane Atkinson: I there's a bit of an addiction problem there so i'm going to be investigating, I have a there's a book in my iPad right now called how to break up with your phone.
30
00:05:10.650 --> 00:05:20.370
Jane Atkinson: I need to go back and circle back to that okay so let's talk about your latest book tell everybody at the title and what the three key elements are.
31
00:05:20.640 --> 00:05:24.360
Alan Stein, Jr.: Sure, so my first book that came out three years ago was called raise your game.
32
00:05:24.630 --> 00:05:39.840
Alan Stein, Jr.: Okay, basically to show folks how to reach optimal performance in any of area of their life, whether it's as a speaker as an entrepreneur, even as a spouse or as a parent right it's kind of the foundational principles of reaching that proverbial mountain top.
33
00:05:40.080 --> 00:05:45.840
Alan Stein, Jr.: and his book which just came out a couple of weeks ago is called sustain your game and it shows folks.
34
00:05:46.410 --> 00:05:58.260
Alan Stein, Jr.: How to maintain and sustain excellence and optimal performance for long periods of time, and what I found is there, there have been three things that really undermine our ability to sustain performance and excellence.
35
00:05:58.620 --> 00:06:02.760
Alan Stein, Jr.: And I think most people agree these three things were heightened exponentially during the pandemic.
36
00:06:02.910 --> 00:06:13.530
Alan Stein, Jr.: yeah that's how we manage stress how we avoid stagnation and how we beat burnout So those are really the three primary focal points of the new book and the sections that which we attack those.
37
00:06:13.620 --> 00:06:20.430
Jane Atkinson: Okay, I want to go into each of those and you know I just feel as though a lot of people.
38
00:06:21.450 --> 00:06:35.280
Jane Atkinson: Having felt like Okay, you know, we made it to the other side, maybe need some of this right now that's why we wanted to have you back on because sustaining your game.
39
00:06:36.480 --> 00:06:43.500
Jane Atkinson: After something like what we've been through in our industry is a new conversation right now.
40
00:06:43.890 --> 00:06:52.680
Jane Atkinson: it's so different than what it was sustaining your game, five years ago and sustaining sustaining your game today is different.
41
00:06:52.980 --> 00:07:01.530
Alan Stein, Jr.: It absolutely is yeah the pandemic really changed everything and and obviously there were many industries that were heavily affected by the endemic but.
42
00:07:01.740 --> 00:07:02.460
Jane Atkinson: Just us.
43
00:07:02.610 --> 00:07:05.820
Alan Stein, Jr.: know but speaking certainly was it at the top of that list and.
44
00:07:06.390 --> 00:07:21.000
Alan Stein, Jr.: You know I mean I think most speakers can remember vividly you know around March 13 of 2020 when the carpet was pulled out from every single one of us, and we all saw our calendars immediately decimated, you know for the next six to eight months.
45
00:07:21.690 --> 00:07:26.970
Alan Stein, Jr.: And, and what that felt like, and that certainly heightened stress for most of us.
46
00:07:28.410 --> 00:07:29.190
Alan Stein, Jr.: to manage that.
47
00:07:30.060 --> 00:07:43.590
Jane Atkinson: segue into the so it's three p's perform pivot and prevail performance about managing stress day to day pivot is about avoiding stagnation.
48
00:07:44.040 --> 00:07:57.150
Jane Atkinson: And prevail, is about beating burnout and I think that those are all really key topics so let's let's dive first into the whole managing stress, you know, and I think, maybe we should just speak about.
49
00:07:58.260 --> 00:08:09.840
Jane Atkinson: Stress versus like anxiety that may be heightened, but if you have an underlying mental illness that maybe some of these things might change for you.
50
00:08:10.260 --> 00:08:24.420
Jane Atkinson: I think personally my anxiety has changed evolved really a lot over the last two years, how, how do you define stress versus anxiety let's break that apart for a second.
51
00:08:24.660 --> 00:08:31.860
Alan Stein, Jr.: Well, first and foremost it's important for everyone to recognize that both are normal both are natural and both are part of the human condition.
52
00:08:33.360 --> 00:08:37.470
Alan Stein, Jr.: That when you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed or you're feeling anxious or worried.
53
00:08:37.740 --> 00:08:51.420
Alan Stein, Jr.: The best thing you can do is take a deep breath and give yourself some grace and some compassion and just know that it might not feel good in the moment but it's okay to not be okay, and that you are definitely not alone, I think.
54
00:08:52.020 --> 00:09:06.360
Alan Stein, Jr.: That the feeling that we're alone or that we're isolated makes all of these things feel you know 1000 times more overwhelming so just know that it's okay if you're feeling a little overwhelmed stressed or anxious that is part of being a human being.
55
00:09:06.600 --> 00:09:07.080
Jane Atkinson: hmm.
56
00:09:07.140 --> 00:09:18.030
Jane Atkinson: Thank you, I think that's a good thing we my husband's home today because we've had a coven scare, and so you know, every time you're taking the test.
57
00:09:18.930 --> 00:09:29.850
Jane Atkinson: that's up and down, and I know we're not finished with these tests so and all these emotions come with it, I haven't had a positive yet, but I feel like it's going to happen, and so I.
58
00:09:30.180 --> 00:09:39.030
Jane Atkinson: i've been learning from other people how emotionally they felt, some people are cruising right through it without it wasn't nothing no big deal.
59
00:09:39.720 --> 00:09:47.130
Alan Stein, Jr.: For sure, and one of the most important parts in you know I think this is just good advice for all of us on a very macro level.
60
00:09:48.000 --> 00:09:55.020
Alan Stein, Jr.: is having the self awareness and the emotional intelligence to understand our feelings to recognize our feelings.
61
00:09:55.560 --> 00:10:01.470
Alan Stein, Jr.: not trying to suppress them or resistance, you know that that's why, if you're if you're feeling stressed or you're feeling ages.
62
00:10:02.160 --> 00:10:14.730
Alan Stein, Jr.: don't try to lock that away like understand that that can simply flow through you just like all other emotions can and it's important to recognize and understand but also try and figure out kind of the the source of.
63
00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:19.860
Alan Stein, Jr.: what's causing the stress and anxiety and to me that the definition that most resonated.
64
00:10:20.550 --> 00:10:28.350
Alan Stein, Jr.: Was from philosopher Eckert Tony who defined stress as your desire for things in the moment to be different than they are.
65
00:10:29.250 --> 00:10:33.840
Alan Stein, Jr.: And I you know I mean that's certainly resonated with me, especially during the pandemic.
66
00:10:34.620 --> 00:10:39.930
Alan Stein, Jr.: So, which means the first step to reducing stress is the level of acceptance.
67
00:10:40.260 --> 00:10:44.700
Alan Stein, Jr.: Over the things we have control over and over the things we do not have control over and.
68
00:10:44.910 --> 00:10:52.770
Alan Stein, Jr.: and clearly, and I say this with a huge smile, the vast majority of things that happened during the pandemic were things outside of our individual control.
69
00:10:53.010 --> 00:11:08.280
Alan Stein, Jr.: There was nothing that we could do about it, so we need to do the best that we can still giving ourselves some grace and compassion to keep our focus on the things we do have control over such as our own attitude and our own effort, and when you can learn to simply.
70
00:11:08.730 --> 00:11:20.790
Alan Stein, Jr.: accept that things happen in the world that we don't control and you put all of your focus into your response to those things, at least through firsthand experience that's helped me reduce stress dramatically.
71
00:11:20.940 --> 00:11:33.060
Jane Atkinson: yeah and and in the early days, I really noticed some differences between people and attitudinal Lee were some immediately saw opportunity.
72
00:11:33.630 --> 00:11:48.690
Jane Atkinson: And some immediately saw devastation, so you know understanding, where did you begin and where did you get to during that you know I didn't start it opportunity but I made my way there pretty quickly.
73
00:11:48.900 --> 00:11:49.500
Alan Stein, Jr.: For sure.
74
00:11:49.590 --> 00:11:59.520
Jane Atkinson: But, knowing that my default position is not there it's I you know, so I think that that's just an interesting thing to notice is.
75
00:12:00.030 --> 00:12:13.410
Jane Atkinson: Did you see opportunity i've talked to people who have said, you know I haven't given a speech in two and a half years, nor, nor do I have anything on my calendar, so we clearly know which camp that they're in.
76
00:12:13.740 --> 00:12:23.760
Alan Stein, Jr.: For sure, well, I just want to commend you for having the self awareness to recognize that and that's that's ultimately going to be the first step to improving in any area is awareness, I mean.
77
00:12:24.330 --> 00:12:31.320
Alan Stein, Jr.: Whether you're on the stage or off the stage, you will never improve something you're unaware of, and you will never fix something you're oblivious to.
78
00:12:31.530 --> 00:12:32.670
Alan Stein, Jr.: So the first step.
79
00:12:32.820 --> 00:12:41.910
Alan Stein, Jr.: is simply to have a self audit and to recognize this is where I am and when you find yourself in the lower place when you find yourself dwelling.
80
00:12:42.480 --> 00:12:57.750
Alan Stein, Jr.: On the negative instead of looking for the growth opportunity once again don't don't add guilt and shame on top of that, and make it worse, give yourself permission to feel how you feel in the moment yeah you know if if you need a little bit of time.
81
00:12:58.410 --> 00:13:06.930
Alan Stein, Jr.: You know, to kind of settle those feelings that's fine, but then start to work on ways that you can climb out of that and, and I think.
82
00:13:07.740 --> 00:13:11.940
Alan Stein, Jr.: This is where we have to be very careful not to play the comparison game.
83
00:13:12.510 --> 00:13:25.020
Alan Stein, Jr.: Not to say you know you know as a speaker, I feel, like everything in my world has been decimated, but it looks like all of my speaking colleagues are doing great that's only going to make things worse on your end so don't worry about playing the comparison game.
84
00:13:25.140 --> 00:13:42.210
Jane Atkinson: You know it's interesting I was thinking about the comparison game, when I said that my anxiety novels are higher now than they ever used to be before and I look out at everybody who's out traveling and doing business and masks off.
85
00:13:42.720 --> 00:13:49.260
Jane Atkinson: And that's not a comfortable place for me to be in, and I wonder if other people who are kind of.
86
00:13:50.190 --> 00:14:07.590
Jane Atkinson: leaning into the exact anxiety, a little bit more are feeling the same way, like i'm not kind of they are where you are yet, and so I think, maybe just recognizing that I am where I am and they are where they are and no good thing ever came from comparison really.
87
00:14:07.950 --> 00:14:14.550
Alan Stein, Jr.: Absolutely, and this is also where each of us can lean into empathy and and learn to meet others.
88
00:14:14.730 --> 00:14:23.940
Alan Stein, Jr.: Where they are you know i've always been a big believer whether it's in the speaking community or whether it's in your individual team or organization that.
89
00:14:24.570 --> 00:14:33.150
Alan Stein, Jr.: When you're struggling, you need to have the courage and the vulnerability to reach out to someone else to ask for help and to ask for support and that can be very tough to do.
90
00:14:33.420 --> 00:14:38.130
Alan Stein, Jr.: But also recognize that when things are going well, when you're in a groove and you're in a flow.
91
00:14:38.340 --> 00:14:46.740
Alan Stein, Jr.: Just know that somebody else out there is hurting somebody else out there, struggling and that's your chance to extend an olive branch to be of service to them so.
92
00:14:46.860 --> 00:14:53.430
Alan Stein, Jr.: Regardless of where you fall on the spectrum, whether you're on the end of struggling or you're on the end of incomplete flow.
93
00:14:53.670 --> 00:15:04.560
Alan Stein, Jr.: Just do your best to reach across the fence and add value to someone else and that's one of my favorite things about the speaking community, you know the the fraternity and sorority that we've created.
94
00:15:05.310 --> 00:15:19.380
Alan Stein, Jr.: I found so many different speakers that have been willing to reach out and to help and to support and to brainstorm and to offer ideas and and certainly know that that your work and this show is a big portion of that but, but I believe that.
95
00:15:19.950 --> 00:15:24.600
Alan Stein, Jr.: You know, a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle and we should do everything we can.
96
00:15:24.780 --> 00:15:28.320
Alan Stein, Jr.: To try to let each other up because we're all in this industry together.
97
00:15:28.500 --> 00:15:34.230
Alan Stein, Jr.: And we should all want this industry to thrive, because it will provide more opportunity for each and every one of us.
98
00:15:34.320 --> 00:15:38.460
Jane Atkinson: Absolutely and and I have been really.
99
00:15:39.660 --> 00:15:47.430
Jane Atkinson: blessed for 30 years to be hanging out with some damn cool people and people and.
100
00:15:47.940 --> 00:16:05.040
Jane Atkinson: Thank you for that that was really good okay so perform is all about managing your stress on it on a on the short term level, and you did talk about things that we can do each day is there anything else, we need to cover before we move on to the next one.
101
00:16:05.460 --> 00:16:23.070
Alan Stein, Jr.: No really just remember that that anxiety usually stems from us worrying about a hypothetical future that's never happened that hasn't occurred, yet you know we we tend to get anxious about our projection of what may happen in the future, and as normal.
102
00:16:23.550 --> 00:16:29.130
Alan Stein, Jr.: As understandable is that may be, it very rarely serves us, you know so.
103
00:16:29.640 --> 00:16:45.060
Alan Stein, Jr.: i'm a big believer that you know the future really only exists in our mind and in our language like you can never be in your future anywhere, you can only be where you are now making we can imagine the future and we can project what the future will look like.
104
00:16:45.750 --> 00:16:57.180
Alan Stein, Jr.: So if the future is going to be hypothetical anyway, why not just assume that the future is going to be bright that tomorrow is going to be a good day that this event, you have coming up is going to be the best you've ever done.
105
00:16:57.660 --> 00:17:10.170
Alan Stein, Jr.: If it's already going to be hypothetical, then you might as well lean towards painting the picture of the future you'd like and please know that every single thing i'm sharing with you right now is very easy for me to say.
106
00:17:10.440 --> 00:17:16.410
Alan Stein, Jr.: None of this is native you know and i'm not coming from a place of mastery These are all things that.
107
00:17:16.680 --> 00:17:25.410
Alan Stein, Jr.: You know, even the stuff in my books, you know I have an awareness of these things, but I haven't mastered them me, I have the same struggles and challenges that every one of your listeners has.
108
00:17:26.250 --> 00:17:36.510
Alan Stein, Jr.: And we're all in this journey together, and I think that's another thing that can help relieve some of the anxiety pressure and stress is just simply the acknowledgement that no matter where you are in your life.
109
00:17:36.930 --> 00:17:46.140
Alan Stein, Jr.: You will always be a work in progress, and you will always be you know under construction, you know I don't ever plan to be under museum glass as a finished product.
110
00:17:46.950 --> 00:17:49.740
Alan Stein, Jr.: Even when i've been in the speaking business for 30 years.
111
00:17:49.890 --> 00:18:00.150
Alan Stein, Jr.: I can promise you that I will still be trying to up level my craft that i'll still be working on new content and ways to improve delivery i'll still be working hard on my business.
112
00:18:01.140 --> 00:18:12.660
Alan Stein, Jr.: And for me, I actually get a tremendous amount of enjoyment in doing the work and being a part of that that process and and, for me, when we we worry too much about outcomes.
113
00:18:12.960 --> 00:18:14.850
Alan Stein, Jr.: That heightened stress and anxiety.
114
00:18:15.090 --> 00:18:30.210
Alan Stein, Jr.: You know, like don't don't worry about what the audience is going to think about your next keynote be fully present and just focus on serving them delivering value to them having fun when you're on stage being your best self because that's the only part you have control over.
115
00:18:30.480 --> 00:18:42.900
Jane Atkinson: One of the things that does reduce my anxiety about things that I worry about is planning ahead, what will I do if this happens and there's something to be said for.
116
00:18:43.380 --> 00:18:57.300
Jane Atkinson: Not worrying about and being present for a presentation, but also having a plan, what if the fire alarm goes off what if somebody's cell phone rings, what if there's a medical emergency in the first row.
117
00:18:57.780 --> 00:19:12.180
Jane Atkinson: I think, having a plan, so please tell my husband that it's okay to have a plan it's something you should go wrong, just because, then you are prepared for what outcome.
118
00:19:12.840 --> 00:19:18.690
Alan Stein, Jr.: Absolutely i'm i'm so glad that you went that direction and brought that up that's incredibly insightful and I know every.
119
00:19:19.200 --> 00:19:28.410
Alan Stein, Jr.: every word in the English language has a different connotation it sparks a different emotion for each each and every one of us and i'm a huge believer, especially as a speaker.
120
00:19:28.650 --> 00:19:42.660
Alan Stein, Jr.: and making my preparation part of my separation and everything you just said, there are things that I absolutely plan in advance for the I define that different as night for you or anxious.
121
00:19:43.920 --> 00:19:46.740
Jane Atkinson: Worrying but really i'm just planning yeah.
122
00:19:46.830 --> 00:19:50.910
Alan Stein, Jr.: And that's the distinction that each of us has to make with our own terminology.
123
00:19:51.210 --> 00:19:53.040
Alan Stein, Jr.: I am fully prepared.
124
00:19:53.280 --> 00:20:06.870
Alan Stein, Jr.: That the power can cut out and the AV tech equipment stops working i'm fully prepared, if a fire alarm goes off or even something nominal like someone in the front rows phone rings i'm prepared for those things, but once I.
125
00:20:07.500 --> 00:20:14.520
Alan Stein, Jr.: got a plan in place, I don't spend two seconds worried about whether or not they'll happen yeah and That to me is is the big difference and I.
126
00:20:14.520 --> 00:20:17.400
Jane Atkinson: think the worry and I like that so.
127
00:20:17.580 --> 00:20:19.560
Alan Stein, Jr.: Absolutely lower stressing in.
128
00:20:19.560 --> 00:20:20.130
Alan Stein, Jr.: So paired.
129
00:20:20.280 --> 00:20:34.380
Jane Atkinson: john i'm going to keep doing it OK so moving from perform to pivot avoid stagnation, this is more of a you know we talked short term, this is more of a medium term.
130
00:20:34.740 --> 00:20:39.510
Jane Atkinson: thing talk a little bit about how we avoid stagnation, because.
131
00:20:39.930 --> 00:20:49.500
Jane Atkinson: This is something you know you get back out there after not really delivering live presentations for a couple of years, first, you need to shake the rust off.
132
00:20:49.890 --> 00:21:01.080
Jane Atkinson: But I think people should probably be doing a little reinvention inside of there too, so that they get themselves like really worked up and excited about giving this presentation again.
133
00:21:01.890 --> 00:21:16.980
Alan Stein, Jr.: Absolutely hit it right on the head, and I think stagnation can be very common within the speaking world, and I know it's something that i've had issue with you know I I have portions of my keynotes and certain stories that i've told that i've been telling for years now.
134
00:21:17.130 --> 00:21:29.070
Alan Stein, Jr.: And I know them so well like if you were to come at three in the morning and wake me up from a dead sleep and asked me to tell you one of these stories I can almost tell you, you know robotically I could repeat them, word for word.
135
00:21:29.850 --> 00:21:40.470
Alan Stein, Jr.: So there's it's very easy when you've had a certain level of success on stage and things are working to kind of put on the mental cruise control and just try to ride that out and.
136
00:21:40.860 --> 00:21:47.550
Alan Stein, Jr.: You know i'm sure we're all familiar with speakers that have been basically given the same keynote for well over a decade.
137
00:21:47.940 --> 00:21:54.330
Alan Stein, Jr.: Well, that may still be working for them it's really hard to sustain the same level of.
138
00:21:55.020 --> 00:22:12.810
Alan Stein, Jr.: passion and enjoyment and enthusiasm for your work if you're not constantly tinkering and changing so for me the two things that I try and do specifically as a speaker avoid stagnation, one is I change my inputs what I read watch and listen to.
139
00:22:13.050 --> 00:22:16.080
Alan Stein, Jr.: i'm a believer that our inputs directly affect our.
140
00:22:16.110 --> 00:22:17.370
Jane Atkinson: outputs okay.
141
00:22:17.580 --> 00:22:22.830
Alan Stein, Jr.: That if you're constantly reading new exciting engaging stuff that's going to affect the way that.
142
00:22:23.040 --> 00:22:27.450
Alan Stein, Jr.: That you perceive the world what you think what you put out and and I do this, both.
143
00:22:27.720 --> 00:22:38.070
Alan Stein, Jr.: Within the speaking world i'm always trying to study and watch other speakers, not to try and copy them or not to try and steal their content just simply to get.
144
00:22:38.790 --> 00:22:47.280
Alan Stein, Jr.: motivated and inspired by other people that are top of craft, but I also make sure that I step outside of our direct industry and.
145
00:22:47.760 --> 00:22:50.340
Alan Stein, Jr.: I study things like hip hop in stand up comedy.
146
00:22:50.910 --> 00:23:00.570
Alan Stein, Jr.: i'm a huge fan of movies and TV and watching the cinematography and the way actors can portray characters you know and their types of performance.
147
00:23:00.750 --> 00:23:09.930
Alan Stein, Jr.: Obviously I love the athletic world, so I studied that as well, but i'm constantly drawing on things outside of the speaking world that I can try to pull into and use.
148
00:23:10.200 --> 00:23:22.140
Alan Stein, Jr.: As part of of speaking So the first thing I do to make sure i'm never stagnant is i'm constantly changing up what I read watch and listen to with my inputs second thing is i'm constantly trying.
149
00:23:23.220 --> 00:23:29.490
Alan Stein, Jr.: to shake up the people that i'm spending time with and investing time with, and you know if I if I need a new speaker.
150
00:23:30.630 --> 00:23:37.800
Alan Stein, Jr.: At an event we do together and we hit it off, you know, building a relationship or a friendship with that person making time to connect with them.
151
00:23:38.700 --> 00:23:46.410
Alan Stein, Jr.: Again, after the event and maybe have a little brainstorming session or a mastermind session or asked what things have been working well for them.
152
00:23:47.220 --> 00:23:56.700
Alan Stein, Jr.: You know i'm a voracious podcast listener, you know, in addition to your show I devour other shows that are in the speaking genre as well as shows that it has nothing to do with speaking.
153
00:23:57.030 --> 00:24:01.200
Alan Stein, Jr.: For that exact same reason, and you know i've always been of the belief if.
154
00:24:01.560 --> 00:24:09.750
Alan Stein, Jr.: If I were to listen to one of your episodes and it's 30 or 40 minutes long and I pick up one, two or three valuable nuggets that I can apply to my life.
155
00:24:09.990 --> 00:24:15.270
Alan Stein, Jr.: boy, that was an unbelievably great investment in my time and I certainly find that to be the case so.
156
00:24:15.840 --> 00:24:24.960
Alan Stein, Jr.: I make the time to switch out all of the things that I have control over so that it will prevent me from getting stagnant and and I also surround myself with people.
157
00:24:25.170 --> 00:24:35.460
Alan Stein, Jr.: That care enough to hold me accountable, that if they think i'm getting complacent, they give me a friendly little elbow to their rooms, to let me know, and I really welcome that I appreciate that.
158
00:24:35.730 --> 00:24:47.880
Jane Atkinson: yeah yeah that's uh I love change up your inputs I love the idea of shaking it up, and I also love the idea of going back to your material.
159
00:24:48.510 --> 00:25:02.310
Jane Atkinson: We call it, we call it cleaning out the closet you put it all out on the floor and then I think this might be either an Eric Chester or a mark Sharon Brock idea you interview it to see what makes it back in.
160
00:25:03.210 --> 00:25:06.990
Jane Atkinson: The keynote you interview all your pieces to say.
161
00:25:07.320 --> 00:25:21.570
Jane Atkinson: Is that, in line with what this new idea is and because when you I think reengage in your material that gets you super excited I think it helps your sales as well.
162
00:25:21.900 --> 00:25:29.850
Jane Atkinson: But we always want to be trying to take our delivery to the next level so we've even in the world of my students, the wealthy speaker school.
163
00:25:30.180 --> 00:25:39.660
Jane Atkinson: we've even been leveling up our virtual we've been leveling up everything is under review, right now, so let's all take it to the next level love that.
164
00:25:40.080 --> 00:25:53.430
Jane Atkinson: Okay, our final idea here is prevail and prevail, is all about beating burnout and making a lasting impact this is more of a long term idea what are your thoughts on that.
165
00:25:53.730 --> 00:25:59.700
Alan Stein, Jr.: Well, the first is is kind of how you brilliantly teed up our conversation talking about taking your foot off the gas.
166
00:26:00.210 --> 00:26:09.150
Alan Stein, Jr.: that's a big portion of reducing the potential for burnout is already having intermittent breaks in you know what I find.
167
00:26:09.600 --> 00:26:18.870
Alan Stein, Jr.: The root cause of burnout is when we're working a ton of hours and making a ton of sacrifices and those hours and sacrifices are no longer in alignment.
168
00:26:19.290 --> 00:26:27.210
Alan Stein, Jr.: With what fills our bucket with what gets us excited with what we're interested in, you know it's so it's not just the long hours that create burnout.
169
00:26:27.420 --> 00:26:37.440
Alan Stein, Jr.: it's when it's not in harmony with what you want to be doing or meaningful purposeful work and and I would certainly hope you know, one of the reasons that someone would enter the speaking industry.
170
00:26:37.680 --> 00:26:47.820
Alan Stein, Jr.: Is because they want to serve others they want to add value to people's lives and they have something an expertise or a concept, or something that they can share that will do those things.
171
00:26:48.060 --> 00:26:55.530
Alan Stein, Jr.: And if you start to veer away from your original intention of speaking, which is to be of service, which is the phil people's cuffs.
172
00:26:55.710 --> 00:27:05.640
Alan Stein, Jr.: Which is to share something that you're passionate about if you start to veer away from those things and you're now only working long hours that's when burnout will start to rear its ugly head so.
173
00:27:06.210 --> 00:27:15.270
Alan Stein, Jr.: you've got to refocus that lens and make sure you stay connected to your your true purpose and your your true calling and your reason for entering the speaking business in the first place.
174
00:27:16.470 --> 00:27:25.740
Jane Atkinson: it's easy to forget when you have your foot push down constantly and I already feel better just having said it out loud i'm just taking my foot.
175
00:27:25.920 --> 00:27:32.430
Jane Atkinson: And we got these new ideas and then a couple of pieces of the puzzle fall it fell into place, and a lot of really good things have happened.
176
00:27:32.790 --> 00:27:40.980
Jane Atkinson: from taking the foot off the gas pedal but one of the things we try to do in the summer time i've always had a Friday off idea.
177
00:27:41.520 --> 00:27:52.770
Jane Atkinson: And I kind of enforce it a little bit more strongly on Fridays, but also after every long weekend which here in Canada, we try to have one.
178
00:27:53.190 --> 00:28:04.560
Jane Atkinson: long weekend every month in the summertime and there have been times I don't know if we'll do it this summer, but there have been times that we've taken the rest of that week off.
179
00:28:04.950 --> 00:28:16.800
Jane Atkinson: So we've had like five weeks off in the summertime kind of spread out a little bit, which has been so very, very nice a lot of my clients are uncomfortable.
180
00:28:17.400 --> 00:28:28.680
Jane Atkinson: With putting an autoresponder on that says i'm on i'm recharging, but I think if you word it correctly and in line with your brand.
181
00:28:29.010 --> 00:28:34.890
Jane Atkinson: It can be powerful for your clients to go oh okay they're walking their talk over there, I think that's really smart.
182
00:28:35.280 --> 00:28:54.390
Jane Atkinson: You know, people will appreciate it, and they will often wait, hopefully, you have someone who is helping to support you and can talk to people in the meantime, but I think downtime is incredibly important, but I think a lot of people are too fearful to do a lot of it, Alan.
183
00:28:54.660 --> 00:28:58.080
Alan Stein, Jr.: yeah well you just said that so beautifully to me the most important part.
184
00:28:59.400 --> 00:29:05.370
Alan Stein, Jr.: is clearly articulating because the communication portion is the most important and just letting them know.
185
00:29:05.820 --> 00:29:13.080
Alan Stein, Jr.: i'm going to be out of office for this period of time and here's why ultimately i'm doing it to be in service of you.
186
00:29:13.770 --> 00:29:25.410
Alan Stein, Jr.: yeah ultimately i'm doing it so when I come back, I will be so recharge that i'll be able to pour into you tenfold so so i'm actually doing you a favor by me stepping away for a little bit and.
187
00:29:25.920 --> 00:29:35.220
Alan Stein, Jr.: And then yeah if you have the ability to say you know if if it's an emergency and you really need me, you can speak to my assistant or here's a cell phone, or whatever you need to do.
188
00:29:35.700 --> 00:29:40.620
Alan Stein, Jr.: If you feel comfortable and certainly you know that's that's most likely dependent.
189
00:29:40.950 --> 00:29:46.440
Alan Stein, Jr.: on how long that you want to unplug, for I think if you're just looking to unplug for three or four days.
190
00:29:46.740 --> 00:29:58.830
Alan Stein, Jr.: Most people will be incredibly gracious with that if you feel the need to take two to three weeks off that I would definitely have some type of Plan B in place that if somebody does need you or a really hot inquiry comes in.
191
00:29:59.460 --> 00:30:07.860
Alan Stein, Jr.: You know you're able to take care of everything, but to me it just comes down to back to what we said earlier, just make sure you're planning in advance.
192
00:30:08.100 --> 00:30:12.900
Alan Stein, Jr.: And you are clearly communicating what you'll be doing, and while you'll be doing it.
193
00:30:13.260 --> 00:30:21.510
Alan Stein, Jr.: And then just have confidence in that and just realize, and I hope every speaker knows this, you know you will never please everyone.
194
00:30:22.140 --> 00:30:26.100
Alan Stein, Jr.: it's a futile attempt to try and don't spend your time worrying about.
195
00:30:26.280 --> 00:30:37.170
Alan Stein, Jr.: The one or two people that could potentially be turned off by you taking time off if you know that is in your best interest, and it is aligned with your core values and allows you to be the best you can be.
196
00:30:37.950 --> 00:30:41.880
Alan Stein, Jr.: Just you go ahead and do it and you do it professionally and with tax.
197
00:30:41.970 --> 00:30:45.540
Alan Stein, Jr.: And with a big smile and i've always believed, things will work out just fine.
198
00:30:45.840 --> 00:30:57.420
Jane Atkinson: I love that and my perfect client does not believe that I need to be available to them 20 473 65 you know, so I think that.
199
00:30:57.810 --> 00:31:00.750
Jane Atkinson: If you really identify what your perfect client.
200
00:31:01.110 --> 00:31:13.200
Jane Atkinson: Who they might be, and set yourself up for success by thinking okay i'm going to take a seven day stretch but i'm going to give myself two hours clear emails on Wednesday or something like that.
201
00:31:13.590 --> 00:31:29.130
Jane Atkinson: I think that we can be reasonable about this, while at the same time, really taking care of ourselves, because not turning off your phone ever is not necessarily managing stress very well wouldn't you say.
202
00:31:29.220 --> 00:31:36.420
Alan Stein, Jr.: Oh boy I think it will heighten it exponentially, I really believe being tethered to screens electronics is.
203
00:31:36.660 --> 00:31:36.780
Jane Atkinson: The.
204
00:31:36.990 --> 00:31:39.660
Jane Atkinson: Minimum, what do you think the minimum would be.
205
00:31:39.900 --> 00:31:45.780
Alan Stein, Jr.: Well, ultimately, it comes back to our own self awareness and knowing how we operate, and I know for myself.
206
00:31:46.350 --> 00:32:03.570
Alan Stein, Jr.: I love structure, I love consistency I love routines So for me it's It gives me comfort to put things in black and white and say you know I do not check my phone, for the first hour after I wake up and I do not check my phone after around seven or 8pm.
207
00:32:04.170 --> 00:32:10.050
Alan Stein, Jr.: Each night and and that you know that gave me comfort putting up very black and white guardrails.
208
00:32:10.650 --> 00:32:18.660
Alan Stein, Jr.: Other people don't have to be as rigid with that other people can have a different process but but i've even gone deeper with different systems and processes as far as.
209
00:32:19.260 --> 00:32:24.660
Alan Stein, Jr.: turning off certain notifications and deleting certain Apps and certain parts of social media off of my phone.
210
00:32:25.650 --> 00:32:40.800
Alan Stein, Jr.: I have rules in my place where you know I only work when i'm in my office when i'm in other parts of my apartment you know I stay I might do something casually like play a word game on my phone or watch a YouTube video but I try not to do work in other areas.
211
00:32:41.280 --> 00:32:46.440
Alan Stein, Jr.: very similar to pavlov's dog i've conditioned myself that when I am in my office.
212
00:32:46.560 --> 00:32:56.280
Alan Stein, Jr.: it's time to be productive and get work done when I am outside of my office it's time to relax recharge and rejuvenate and again that works for me i'm not implying.
213
00:32:56.310 --> 00:32:56.760
Jane Atkinson: that's a good.
214
00:32:57.090 --> 00:33:11.160
Alan Stein, Jr.: for everybody else, but each person needs to have the awareness, to know what types of systems can I put in place that allow me to be my best self and to feel fully charged and full as consistently as possible, yes.
215
00:33:11.610 --> 00:33:26.910
Jane Atkinson: Beautiful beautiful alright so let's tell everybody how they can get in touch with you, and what the best first step might be, of course, we want them to buy your new book sustain your game which is probably available everywhere, I assume.
216
00:33:27.090 --> 00:33:27.960
Alan Stein, Jr.: It sure is.
217
00:33:28.230 --> 00:33:36.510
Alan Stein, Jr.: yeah yeah folks can easily find the Allen sign jr calm, I have a supplemental site stronger team calm.
218
00:33:36.930 --> 00:33:47.250
Alan Stein, Jr.: very easily found on social media at Allen Stein jr I love engaging with folks, especially with fellow speakers so shoot me a DM on instagram or connect on linkedin or.
219
00:33:47.730 --> 00:33:59.760
Alan Stein, Jr.: I don't know when this will release, but if it's before and folks are going to be at NSA his influence in nashville I will be there and would love to to meet any of your listeners and give folks a high five and talks and shop.
220
00:34:00.090 --> 00:34:11.190
Jane Atkinson: awesome I think it might be released before them but i'm not entirely sure Thank you so much for your time today, this has been fabulous for me selfishly speaking.
221
00:34:11.640 --> 00:34:19.950
Jane Atkinson: And I know that our listeners will really appreciate it, and with that we're going to say see you soon wealthy speakers bye for now everyone.
1
00:00:01.770 --> 00:00:11.309
Jane Atkinson: hey welcome back everyone to the wealthy speaker pod cast Alan Stein jr is here again, thank you so much for coming back on the show.
2
00:00:11.670 --> 00:00:13.769
Alan Stein, Jr.: Oh it's my pleasure it's so great to be with you again.
3
00:00:14.730 --> 00:00:23.460
Jane Atkinson: So remind everybody about kind of your background and how you came to be an expert in the areas of performance.
4
00:00:24.210 --> 00:00:33.450
Alan Stein, Jr.: I spent most of my career in the direct basketball training space and was a basketball performance coach primarily at the Youth in high school level, but had a chance to work with.
5
00:00:33.720 --> 00:00:47.040
Alan Stein, Jr.: about a dozen players that are currently in the nba back when they were in high school and then that afforded me some opportunities with Nike basketball and Jordan brand and USA basketball, so I got an opportunity to work with some already established.
6
00:00:47.760 --> 00:00:54.120
Alan Stein, Jr.: Big name players so i've had a very unique vantage point and seeing what it takes to get to the top of the proverbial mountaintop.
7
00:00:54.390 --> 00:01:07.920
Alan Stein, Jr.: And, of course, what it takes to stay there, and five years ago, I decided to make the distinct pivot from basketball training to corporate keynote speaking and have been enjoying my career as a as a professional speaker for the last five years.
8
00:01:08.010 --> 00:01:19.770
Jane Atkinson: beautiful and so today, what do you think in the performance world inside corporate America, what do you think you know, one of the biggest problems is.
9
00:01:20.280 --> 00:01:36.360
Alan Stein, Jr.: it's the constant recross recalibration that needs to be done, obviously we've all had a major shift in the past two years, with the pandemic and it's kind of refining and recalibrating the things that worked really well prior to the pandemic.
10
00:01:36.600 --> 00:01:50.010
Alan Stein, Jr.: yeah, then the shifts and the pivots that people had to make during the pandemic and now we need to kind of blend the two together and figure out, and I know this is becoming a tad bit overused and cliche but what this new normal is going to look like.
11
00:01:50.340 --> 00:01:54.600
Alan Stein, Jr.: And what do each of us need to do both personally and professionally.
12
00:01:54.930 --> 00:02:09.210
Alan Stein, Jr.: individually and organizationally to show up as our best selves and to make a maximum contribution to those around us and those that we serve and and that's been the height of my work for these you know, last couple of years, in particular, is helping folks make those recalibrations.
13
00:02:09.570 --> 00:02:21.870
Jane Atkinson: I like the word recalibration, so this is coming from a you know, a personal place where I felt as though over coven.
14
00:02:22.830 --> 00:02:41.790
Jane Atkinson: I have had my foot on the gas pedal for so long and honestly Alan I just need a break I just need to stop pushing for a second, what do you say to people who just want to take their foot off the gas for a minute, give me some advice.
15
00:02:42.390 --> 00:02:57.870
Alan Stein, Jr.: I highly encourage it and I highly recommend it, you know it's simply not sustainable, to be on and to be going and to be pushing and to be charging and to be hustling non stop, we have to have intermittent breaks.
16
00:02:58.650 --> 00:03:05.760
Alan Stein, Jr.: You know, and I recommend doing those you know, there should be times during your daily routine where you have some downtime.
17
00:03:06.150 --> 00:03:12.480
Alan Stein, Jr.: There should be times during your weekly routine that you have some downtime monthly, quarterly and yearly.
18
00:03:13.200 --> 00:03:19.560
Alan Stein, Jr.: You know whether that's to the tune of you know and here's a good rule of thumb you know, every day, you should take at least one hour.
19
00:03:20.250 --> 00:03:32.040
Alan Stein, Jr.: To unplug to digitally detox to detach to sit in stillness or to do something that fills your bucket whether that's physically mentally or emotionally with something that recharges your battery.
20
00:03:32.580 --> 00:03:35.670
Alan Stein, Jr.: You should make the time for at least an hour a day to do that.
21
00:03:36.480 --> 00:03:48.240
Alan Stein, Jr.: And during the week, if possible, and I know every week is not the exact same if you have a big project or a Aquino you're preparing for if you're going to launch a course, but every week, you should take at least one day off.
22
00:03:48.600 --> 00:03:56.340
Alan Stein, Jr.: to rest recharge and to fill your bucket i'm a believer that every month, you should take an entire weekend off and unplug.
23
00:03:56.670 --> 00:04:06.960
Alan Stein, Jr.: And then quarterly or yearly make sure you're you're putting in some I guess we'll call them vacations or you know, even if it's a staycation just something where you get away from the normal hustle and bustle in.
24
00:04:07.560 --> 00:04:13.740
Alan Stein, Jr.: That time and energy is actually going to be reinvested, when you get back to work.
25
00:04:14.460 --> 00:04:24.810
Alan Stein, Jr.: you'll be you'll be more focused you'll have more energy you'll be a better version of yourself, so this very much parallels the world that I was in with athletes, you know athletes can't train hard.
26
00:04:25.170 --> 00:04:41.880
Alan Stein, Jr.: Eight hours a day, seven days a week 12 months a year they'll they'll get injured they'll get burnout you know so they have to have rest and recovery after intense workouts practices and games and we as working professionals, especially in the speaking world have to do the same.
27
00:04:42.390 --> 00:04:52.860
Jane Atkinson: Okay well that's making me feel a little better, and you know, I think that unplug piece that you mentioned, is really important, because even when I am on the treadmill.
28
00:04:53.370 --> 00:04:59.970
Jane Atkinson: I have my phone right there right why can't I just put the phone aside for an hour.
29
00:05:00.330 --> 00:05:09.840
Jane Atkinson: I there's a bit of an addiction problem there so i'm going to be investigating, I have a there's a book in my iPad right now called how to break up with your phone.
30
00:05:10.650 --> 00:05:20.370
Jane Atkinson: I need to go back and circle back to that okay so let's talk about your latest book tell everybody at the title and what the three key elements are.
31
00:05:20.640 --> 00:05:24.360
Alan Stein, Jr.: Sure, so my first book that came out three years ago was called raise your game.
32
00:05:24.630 --> 00:05:39.840
Alan Stein, Jr.: Okay, basically to show folks how to reach optimal performance in any of area of their life, whether it's as a speaker as an entrepreneur, even as a spouse or as a parent right it's kind of the foundational principles of reaching that proverbial mountain top.
33
00:05:40.080 --> 00:05:45.840
Alan Stein, Jr.: and his book which just came out a couple of weeks ago is called sustain your game and it shows folks.
34
00:05:46.410 --> 00:05:58.260
Alan Stein, Jr.: How to maintain and sustain excellence and optimal performance for long periods of time, and what I found is there, there have been three things that really undermine our ability to sustain performance and excellence.
35
00:05:58.620 --> 00:06:02.760
Alan Stein, Jr.: And I think most people agree these three things were heightened exponentially during the pandemic.
36
00:06:02.910 --> 00:06:13.530
Alan Stein, Jr.: yeah that's how we manage stress how we avoid stagnation and how we beat burnout So those are really the three primary focal points of the new book and the sections that which we attack those.
37
00:06:13.620 --> 00:06:20.430
Jane Atkinson: Okay, I want to go into each of those and you know I just feel as though a lot of people.
38
00:06:21.450 --> 00:06:35.280
Jane Atkinson: Having felt like Okay, you know, we made it to the other side, maybe need some of this right now that's why we wanted to have you back on because sustaining your game.
39
00:06:36.480 --> 00:06:43.500
Jane Atkinson: After something like what we've been through in our industry is a new conversation right now.
40
00:06:43.890 --> 00:06:52.680
Jane Atkinson: it's so different than what it was sustaining your game, five years ago and sustaining sustaining your game today is different.
41
00:06:52.980 --> 00:07:01.530
Alan Stein, Jr.: It absolutely is yeah the pandemic really changed everything and and obviously there were many industries that were heavily affected by the endemic but.
42
00:07:01.740 --> 00:07:02.460
Jane Atkinson: Just us.
43
00:07:02.610 --> 00:07:05.820
Alan Stein, Jr.: know but speaking certainly was it at the top of that list and.
44
00:07:06.390 --> 00:07:21.000
Alan Stein, Jr.: You know I mean I think most speakers can remember vividly you know around March 13 of 2020 when the carpet was pulled out from every single one of us, and we all saw our calendars immediately decimated, you know for the next six to eight months.
45
00:07:21.690 --> 00:07:26.970
Alan Stein, Jr.: And, and what that felt like, and that certainly heightened stress for most of us.
46
00:07:28.410 --> 00:07:29.190
Alan Stein, Jr.: to manage that.
47
00:07:30.060 --> 00:07:43.590
Jane Atkinson: segue into the so it's three p's perform pivot and prevail performance about managing stress day to day pivot is about avoiding stagnation.
48
00:07:44.040 --> 00:07:57.150
Jane Atkinson: And prevail, is about beating burnout and I think that those are all really key topics so let's let's dive first into the whole managing stress, you know, and I think, maybe we should just speak about.
49
00:07:58.260 --> 00:08:09.840
Jane Atkinson: Stress versus like anxiety that may be heightened, but if you have an underlying mental illness that maybe some of these things might change for you.
50
00:08:10.260 --> 00:08:24.420
Jane Atkinson: I think personally my anxiety has changed evolved really a lot over the last two years, how, how do you define stress versus anxiety let's break that apart for a second.
51
00:08:24.660 --> 00:08:31.860
Alan Stein, Jr.: Well, first and foremost it's important for everyone to recognize that both are normal both are natural and both are part of the human condition.
52
00:08:33.360 --> 00:08:37.470
Alan Stein, Jr.: That when you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed or you're feeling anxious or worried.
53
00:08:37.740 --> 00:08:51.420
Alan Stein, Jr.: The best thing you can do is take a deep breath and give yourself some grace and some compassion and just know that it might not feel good in the moment but it's okay to not be okay, and that you are definitely not alone, I think.
54
00:08:52.020 --> 00:09:06.360
Alan Stein, Jr.: That the feeling that we're alone or that we're isolated makes all of these things feel you know 1000 times more overwhelming so just know that it's okay if you're feeling a little overwhelmed stressed or anxious that is part of being a human being.
55
00:09:06.600 --> 00:09:07.080
Jane Atkinson: hmm.
56
00:09:07.140 --> 00:09:18.030
Jane Atkinson: Thank you, I think that's a good thing we my husband's home today because we've had a coven scare, and so you know, every time you're taking the test.
57
00:09:18.930 --> 00:09:29.850
Jane Atkinson: that's up and down, and I know we're not finished with these tests so and all these emotions come with it, I haven't had a positive yet, but I feel like it's going to happen, and so I.
58
00:09:30.180 --> 00:09:39.030
Jane Atkinson: i've been learning from other people how emotionally they felt, some people are cruising right through it without it wasn't nothing no big deal.
59
00:09:39.720 --> 00:09:47.130
Alan Stein, Jr.: For sure, and one of the most important parts in you know I think this is just good advice for all of us on a very macro level.
60
00:09:48.000 --> 00:09:55.020
Alan Stein, Jr.: is having the self awareness and the emotional intelligence to understand our feelings to recognize our feelings.
61
00:09:55.560 --> 00:10:01.470
Alan Stein, Jr.: not trying to suppress them or resistance, you know that that's why, if you're if you're feeling stressed or you're feeling ages.
62
00:10:02.160 --> 00:10:14.730
Alan Stein, Jr.: don't try to lock that away like understand that that can simply flow through you just like all other emotions can and it's important to recognize and understand but also try and figure out kind of the the source of.
63
00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:19.860
Alan Stein, Jr.: what's causing the stress and anxiety and to me that the definition that most resonated.
64
00:10:20.550 --> 00:10:28.350
Alan Stein, Jr.: Was from philosopher Eckert Tony who defined stress as your desire for things in the moment to be different than they are.
65
00:10:29.250 --> 00:10:33.840
Alan Stein, Jr.: And I you know I mean that's certainly resonated with me, especially during the pandemic.
66
00:10:34.620 --> 00:10:39.930
Alan Stein, Jr.: So, which means the first step to reducing stress is the level of acceptance.
67
00:10:40.260 --> 00:10:44.700
Alan Stein, Jr.: Over the things we have control over and over the things we do not have control over and.
68
00:10:44.910 --> 00:10:52.770
Alan Stein, Jr.: and clearly, and I say this with a huge smile, the vast majority of things that happened during the pandemic were things outside of our individual control.
69
00:10:53.010 --> 00:11:08.280
Alan Stein, Jr.: There was nothing that we could do about it, so we need to do the best that we can still giving ourselves some grace and compassion to keep our focus on the things we do have control over such as our own attitude and our own effort, and when you can learn to simply.
70
00:11:08.730 --> 00:11:20.790
Alan Stein, Jr.: accept that things happen in the world that we don't control and you put all of your focus into your response to those things, at least through firsthand experience that's helped me reduce stress dramatically.
71
00:11:20.940 --> 00:11:33.060
Jane Atkinson: yeah and and in the early days, I really noticed some differences between people and attitudinal Lee were some immediately saw opportunity.
72
00:11:33.630 --> 00:11:48.690
Jane Atkinson: And some immediately saw devastation, so you know understanding, where did you begin and where did you get to during that you know I didn't start it opportunity but I made my way there pretty quickly.
73
00:11:48.900 --> 00:11:49.500
Alan Stein, Jr.: For sure.
74
00:11:49.590 --> 00:11:59.520
Jane Atkinson: But, knowing that my default position is not there it's I you know, so I think that that's just an interesting thing to notice is.
75
00:12:00.030 --> 00:12:13.410
Jane Atkinson: Did you see opportunity i've talked to people who have said, you know I haven't given a speech in two and a half years, nor, nor do I have anything on my calendar, so we clearly know which camp that they're in.
76
00:12:13.740 --> 00:12:23.760
Alan Stein, Jr.: For sure, well, I just want to commend you for having the self awareness to recognize that and that's that's ultimately going to be the first step to improving in any area is awareness, I mean.
77
00:12:24.330 --> 00:12:31.320
Alan Stein, Jr.: Whether you're on the stage or off the stage, you will never improve something you're unaware of, and you will never fix something you're oblivious to.
78
00:12:31.530 --> 00:12:32.670
Alan Stein, Jr.: So the first step.
79
00:12:32.820 --> 00:12:41.910
Alan Stein, Jr.: is simply to have a self audit and to recognize this is where I am and when you find yourself in the lower place when you find yourself dwelling.
80
00:12:42.480 --> 00:12:57.750
Alan Stein, Jr.: On the negative instead of looking for the growth opportunity once again don't don't add guilt and shame on top of that, and make it worse, give yourself permission to feel how you feel in the moment yeah you know if if you need a little bit of time.
81
00:12:58.410 --> 00:13:06.930
Alan Stein, Jr.: You know, to kind of settle those feelings that's fine, but then start to work on ways that you can climb out of that and, and I think.
82
00:13:07.740 --> 00:13:11.940
Alan Stein, Jr.: This is where we have to be very careful not to play the comparison game.
83
00:13:12.510 --> 00:13:25.020
Alan Stein, Jr.: Not to say you know you know as a speaker, I feel, like everything in my world has been decimated, but it looks like all of my speaking colleagues are doing great that's only going to make things worse on your end so don't worry about playing the comparison game.
84
00:13:25.140 --> 00:13:42.210
Jane Atkinson: You know it's interesting I was thinking about the comparison game, when I said that my anxiety novels are higher now than they ever used to be before and I look out at everybody who's out traveling and doing business and masks off.
85
00:13:42.720 --> 00:13:49.260
Jane Atkinson: And that's not a comfortable place for me to be in, and I wonder if other people who are kind of.
86
00:13:50.190 --> 00:14:07.590
Jane Atkinson: leaning into the exact anxiety, a little bit more are feeling the same way, like i'm not kind of they are where you are yet, and so I think, maybe just recognizing that I am where I am and they are where they are and no good thing ever came from comparison really.
87
00:14:07.950 --> 00:14:14.550
Alan Stein, Jr.: Absolutely, and this is also where each of us can lean into empathy and and learn to meet others.
88
00:14:14.730 --> 00:14:23.940
Alan Stein, Jr.: Where they are you know i've always been a big believer whether it's in the speaking community or whether it's in your individual team or organization that.
89
00:14:24.570 --> 00:14:33.150
Alan Stein, Jr.: When you're struggling, you need to have the courage and the vulnerability to reach out to someone else to ask for help and to ask for support and that can be very tough to do.
90
00:14:33.420 --> 00:14:38.130
Alan Stein, Jr.: But also recognize that when things are going well, when you're in a groove and you're in a flow.
91
00:14:38.340 --> 00:14:46.740
Alan Stein, Jr.: Just know that somebody else out there is hurting somebody else out there, struggling and that's your chance to extend an olive branch to be of service to them so.
92
00:14:46.860 --> 00:14:53.430
Alan Stein, Jr.: Regardless of where you fall on the spectrum, whether you're on the end of struggling or you're on the end of incomplete flow.
93
00:14:53.670 --> 00:15:04.560
Alan Stein, Jr.: Just do your best to reach across the fence and add value to someone else and that's one of my favorite things about the speaking community, you know the the fraternity and sorority that we've created.
94
00:15:05.310 --> 00:15:19.380
Alan Stein, Jr.: I found so many different speakers that have been willing to reach out and to help and to support and to brainstorm and to offer ideas and and certainly know that that your work and this show is a big portion of that but, but I believe that.
95
00:15:19.950 --> 00:15:24.600
Alan Stein, Jr.: You know, a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle and we should do everything we can.
96
00:15:24.780 --> 00:15:28.320
Alan Stein, Jr.: To try to let each other up because we're all in this industry together.
97
00:15:28.500 --> 00:15:34.230
Alan Stein, Jr.: And we should all want this industry to thrive, because it will provide more opportunity for each and every one of us.
98
00:15:34.320 --> 00:15:38.460
Jane Atkinson: Absolutely and and I have been really.
99
00:15:39.660 --> 00:15:47.430
Jane Atkinson: blessed for 30 years to be hanging out with some damn cool people and people and.
100
00:15:47.940 --> 00:16:05.040
Jane Atkinson: Thank you for that that was really good okay so perform is all about managing your stress on it on a on the short term level, and you did talk about things that we can do each day is there anything else, we need to cover before we move on to the next one.
101
00:16:05.460 --> 00:16:23.070
Alan Stein, Jr.: No really just remember that that anxiety usually stems from us worrying about a hypothetical future that's never happened that hasn't occurred, yet you know we we tend to get anxious about our projection of what may happen in the future, and as normal.
102
00:16:23.550 --> 00:16:29.130
Alan Stein, Jr.: As understandable is that may be, it very rarely serves us, you know so.
103
00:16:29.640 --> 00:16:45.060
Alan Stein, Jr.: i'm a big believer that you know the future really only exists in our mind and in our language like you can never be in your future anywhere, you can only be where you are now making we can imagine the future and we can project what the future will look like.
104
00:16:45.750 --> 00:16:57.180
Alan Stein, Jr.: So if the future is going to be hypothetical anyway, why not just assume that the future is going to be bright that tomorrow is going to be a good day that this event, you have coming up is going to be the best you've ever done.
105
00:16:57.660 --> 00:17:10.170
Alan Stein, Jr.: If it's already going to be hypothetical, then you might as well lean towards painting the picture of the future you'd like and please know that every single thing i'm sharing with you right now is very easy for me to say.
106
00:17:10.440 --> 00:17:16.410
Alan Stein, Jr.: None of this is native you know and i'm not coming from a place of mastery These are all things that.
107
00:17:16.680 --> 00:17:25.410
Alan Stein, Jr.: You know, even the stuff in my books, you know I have an awareness of these things, but I haven't mastered them me, I have the same struggles and challenges that every one of your listeners has.
108
00:17:26.250 --> 00:17:36.510
Alan Stein, Jr.: And we're all in this journey together, and I think that's another thing that can help relieve some of the anxiety pressure and stress is just simply the acknowledgement that no matter where you are in your life.
109
00:17:36.930 --> 00:17:46.140
Alan Stein, Jr.: You will always be a work in progress, and you will always be you know under construction, you know I don't ever plan to be under museum glass as a finished product.
110
00:17:46.950 --> 00:17:49.740
Alan Stein, Jr.: Even when i've been in the speaking business for 30 years.
111
00:17:49.890 --> 00:18:00.150
Alan Stein, Jr.: I can promise you that I will still be trying to up level my craft that i'll still be working on new content and ways to improve delivery i'll still be working hard on my business.
112
00:18:01.140 --> 00:18:12.660
Alan Stein, Jr.: And for me, I actually get a tremendous amount of enjoyment in doing the work and being a part of that that process and and, for me, when we we worry too much about outcomes.
113
00:18:12.960 --> 00:18:14.850
Alan Stein, Jr.: That heightened stress and anxiety.
114
00:18:15.090 --> 00:18:30.210
Alan Stein, Jr.: You know, like don't don't worry about what the audience is going to think about your next keynote be fully present and just focus on serving them delivering value to them having fun when you're on stage being your best self because that's the only part you have control over.
115
00:18:30.480 --> 00:18:42.900
Jane Atkinson: One of the things that does reduce my anxiety about things that I worry about is planning ahead, what will I do if this happens and there's something to be said for.
116
00:18:43.380 --> 00:18:57.300
Jane Atkinson: Not worrying about and being present for a presentation, but also having a plan, what if the fire alarm goes off what if somebody's cell phone rings, what if there's a medical emergency in the first row.
117
00:18:57.780 --> 00:19:12.180
Jane Atkinson: I think, having a plan, so please tell my husband that it's okay to have a plan it's something you should go wrong, just because, then you are prepared for what outcome.
118
00:19:12.840 --> 00:19:18.690
Alan Stein, Jr.: Absolutely i'm i'm so glad that you went that direction and brought that up that's incredibly insightful and I know every.
119
00:19:19.200 --> 00:19:28.410
Alan Stein, Jr.: every word in the English language has a different connotation it sparks a different emotion for each each and every one of us and i'm a huge believer, especially as a speaker.
120
00:19:28.650 --> 00:19:42.660
Alan Stein, Jr.: and making my preparation part of my separation and everything you just said, there are things that I absolutely plan in advance for the I define that different as night for you or anxious.
121
00:19:43.920 --> 00:19:46.740
Jane Atkinson: Worrying but really i'm just planning yeah.
122
00:19:46.830 --> 00:19:50.910
Alan Stein, Jr.: And that's the distinction that each of us has to make with our own terminology.
123
00:19:51.210 --> 00:19:53.040
Alan Stein, Jr.: I am fully prepared.
124
00:19:53.280 --> 00:20:06.870
Alan Stein, Jr.: That the power can cut out and the AV tech equipment stops working i'm fully prepared, if a fire alarm goes off or even something nominal like someone in the front rows phone rings i'm prepared for those things, but once I.
125
00:20:07.500 --> 00:20:14.520
Alan Stein, Jr.: got a plan in place, I don't spend two seconds worried about whether or not they'll happen yeah and That to me is is the big difference and I.
126
00:20:14.520 --> 00:20:17.400
Jane Atkinson: think the worry and I like that so.
127
00:20:17.580 --> 00:20:19.560
Alan Stein, Jr.: Absolutely lower stressing in.
128
00:20:19.560 --> 00:20:20.130
Alan Stein, Jr.: So paired.
129
00:20:20.280 --> 00:20:34.380
Jane Atkinson: john i'm going to keep doing it OK so moving from perform to pivot avoid stagnation, this is more of a you know we talked short term, this is more of a medium term.
130
00:20:34.740 --> 00:20:39.510
Jane Atkinson: thing talk a little bit about how we avoid stagnation, because.
131
00:20:39.930 --> 00:20:49.500
Jane Atkinson: This is something you know you get back out there after not really delivering live presentations for a couple of years, first, you need to shake the rust off.
132
00:20:49.890 --> 00:21:01.080
Jane Atkinson: But I think people should probably be doing a little reinvention inside of there too, so that they get themselves like really worked up and excited about giving this presentation again.
133
00:21:01.890 --> 00:21:16.980
Alan Stein, Jr.: Absolutely hit it right on the head, and I think stagnation can be very common within the speaking world, and I know it's something that i've had issue with you know I I have portions of my keynotes and certain stories that i've told that i've been telling for years now.
134
00:21:17.130 --> 00:21:29.070
Alan Stein, Jr.: And I know them so well like if you were to come at three in the morning and wake me up from a dead sleep and asked me to tell you one of these stories I can almost tell you, you know robotically I could repeat them, word for word.
135
00:21:29.850 --> 00:21:40.470
Alan Stein, Jr.: So there's it's very easy when you've had a certain level of success on stage and things are working to kind of put on the mental cruise control and just try to ride that out and.
136
00:21:40.860 --> 00:21:47.550
Alan Stein, Jr.: You know i'm sure we're all familiar with speakers that have been basically given the same keynote for well over a decade.
137
00:21:47.940 --> 00:21:54.330
Alan Stein, Jr.: Well, that may still be working for them it's really hard to sustain the same level of.
138
00:21:55.020 --> 00:22:12.810
Alan Stein, Jr.: passion and enjoyment and enthusiasm for your work if you're not constantly tinkering and changing so for me the two things that I try and do specifically as a speaker avoid stagnation, one is I change my inputs what I read watch and listen to.
139
00:22:13.050 --> 00:22:16.080
Alan Stein, Jr.: i'm a believer that our inputs directly affect our.
140
00:22:16.110 --> 00:22:17.370
Jane Atkinson: outputs okay.
141
00:22:17.580 --> 00:22:22.830
Alan Stein, Jr.: That if you're constantly reading new exciting engaging stuff that's going to affect the way that.
142
00:22:23.040 --> 00:22:27.450
Alan Stein, Jr.: That you perceive the world what you think what you put out and and I do this, both.
143
00:22:27.720 --> 00:22:38.070
Alan Stein, Jr.: Within the speaking world i'm always trying to study and watch other speakers, not to try and copy them or not to try and steal their content just simply to get.
144
00:22:38.790 --> 00:22:47.280
Alan Stein, Jr.: motivated and inspired by other people that are top of craft, but I also make sure that I step outside of our direct industry and.
145
00:22:47.760 --> 00:22:50.340
Alan Stein, Jr.: I study things like hip hop in stand up comedy.
146
00:22:50.910 --> 00:23:00.570
Alan Stein, Jr.: i'm a huge fan of movies and TV and watching the cinematography and the way actors can portray characters you know and their types of performance.
147
00:23:00.750 --> 00:23:09.930
Alan Stein, Jr.: Obviously I love the athletic world, so I studied that as well, but i'm constantly drawing on things outside of the speaking world that I can try to pull into and use.
148
00:23:10.200 --> 00:23:22.140
Alan Stein, Jr.: As part of of speaking So the first thing I do to make sure i'm never stagnant is i'm constantly changing up what I read watch and listen to with my inputs second thing is i'm constantly trying.
149
00:23:23.220 --> 00:23:29.490
Alan Stein, Jr.: to shake up the people that i'm spending time with and investing time with, and you know if I if I need a new speaker.
150
00:23:30.630 --> 00:23:37.800
Alan Stein, Jr.: At an event we do together and we hit it off, you know, building a relationship or a friendship with that person making time to connect with them.
151
00:23:38.700 --> 00:23:46.410
Alan Stein, Jr.: Again, after the event and maybe have a little brainstorming session or a mastermind session or asked what things have been working well for them.
152
00:23:47.220 --> 00:23:56.700
Alan Stein, Jr.: You know i'm a voracious podcast listener, you know, in addition to your show I devour other shows that are in the speaking genre as well as shows that it has nothing to do with speaking.
153
00:23:57.030 --> 00:24:01.200
Alan Stein, Jr.: For that exact same reason, and you know i've always been of the belief if.
154
00:24:01.560 --> 00:24:09.750
Alan Stein, Jr.: If I were to listen to one of your episodes and it's 30 or 40 minutes long and I pick up one, two or three valuable nuggets that I can apply to my life.
155
00:24:09.990 --> 00:24:15.270
Alan Stein, Jr.: boy, that was an unbelievably great investment in my time and I certainly find that to be the case so.
156
00:24:15.840 --> 00:24:24.960
Alan Stein, Jr.: I make the time to switch out all of the things that I have control over so that it will prevent me from getting stagnant and and I also surround myself with people.
157
00:24:25.170 --> 00:24:35.460
Alan Stein, Jr.: That care enough to hold me accountable, that if they think i'm getting complacent, they give me a friendly little elbow to their rooms, to let me know, and I really welcome that I appreciate that.
158
00:24:35.730 --> 00:24:47.880
Jane Atkinson: yeah yeah that's uh I love change up your inputs I love the idea of shaking it up, and I also love the idea of going back to your material.
159
00:24:48.510 --> 00:25:02.310
Jane Atkinson: We call it, we call it cleaning out the closet you put it all out on the floor and then I think this might be either an Eric Chester or a mark Sharon Brock idea you interview it to see what makes it back in.
160
00:25:03.210 --> 00:25:06.990
Jane Atkinson: The keynote you interview all your pieces to say.
161
00:25:07.320 --> 00:25:21.570
Jane Atkinson: Is that, in line with what this new idea is and because when you I think reengage in your material that gets you super excited I think it helps your sales as well.
162
00:25:21.900 --> 00:25:29.850
Jane Atkinson: But we always want to be trying to take our delivery to the next level so we've even in the world of my students, the wealthy speaker school.
163
00:25:30.180 --> 00:25:39.660
Jane Atkinson: we've even been leveling up our virtual we've been leveling up everything is under review, right now, so let's all take it to the next level love that.
164
00:25:40.080 --> 00:25:53.430
Jane Atkinson: Okay, our final idea here is prevail and prevail, is all about beating burnout and making a lasting impact this is more of a long term idea what are your thoughts on that.
165
00:25:53.730 --> 00:25:59.700
Alan Stein, Jr.: Well, the first is is kind of how you brilliantly teed up our conversation talking about taking your foot off the gas.
166
00:26:00.210 --> 00:26:09.150
Alan Stein, Jr.: that's a big portion of reducing the potential for burnout is already having intermittent breaks in you know what I find.
167
00:26:09.600 --> 00:26:18.870
Alan Stein, Jr.: The root cause of burnout is when we're working a ton of hours and making a ton of sacrifices and those hours and sacrifices are no longer in alignment.
168
00:26:19.290 --> 00:26:27.210
Alan Stein, Jr.: With what fills our bucket with what gets us excited with what we're interested in, you know it's so it's not just the long hours that create burnout.
169
00:26:27.420 --> 00:26:37.440
Alan Stein, Jr.: it's when it's not in harmony with what you want to be doing or meaningful purposeful work and and I would certainly hope you know, one of the reasons that someone would enter the speaking industry.
170
00:26:37.680 --> 00:26:47.820
Alan Stein, Jr.: Is because they want to serve others they want to add value to people's lives and they have something an expertise or a concept, or something that they can share that will do those things.
171
00:26:48.060 --> 00:26:55.530
Alan Stein, Jr.: And if you start to veer away from your original intention of speaking, which is to be of service, which is the phil people's cuffs.
172
00:26:55.710 --> 00:27:05.640
Alan Stein, Jr.: Which is to share something that you're passionate about if you start to veer away from those things and you're now only working long hours that's when burnout will start to rear its ugly head so.
173
00:27:06.210 --> 00:27:15.270
Alan Stein, Jr.: you've got to refocus that lens and make sure you stay connected to your your true purpose and your your true calling and your reason for entering the speaking business in the first place.
174
00:27:16.470 --> 00:27:25.740
Jane Atkinson: it's easy to forget when you have your foot push down constantly and I already feel better just having said it out loud i'm just taking my foot.
175
00:27:25.920 --> 00:27:32.430
Jane Atkinson: And we got these new ideas and then a couple of pieces of the puzzle fall it fell into place, and a lot of really good things have happened.
176
00:27:32.790 --> 00:27:40.980
Jane Atkinson: from taking the foot off the gas pedal but one of the things we try to do in the summer time i've always had a Friday off idea.
177
00:27:41.520 --> 00:27:52.770
Jane Atkinson: And I kind of enforce it a little bit more strongly on Fridays, but also after every long weekend which here in Canada, we try to have one.
178
00:27:53.190 --> 00:28:04.560
Jane Atkinson: long weekend every month in the summertime and there have been times I don't know if we'll do it this summer, but there have been times that we've taken the rest of that week off.
179
00:28:04.950 --> 00:28:16.800
Jane Atkinson: So we've had like five weeks off in the summertime kind of spread out a little bit, which has been so very, very nice a lot of my clients are uncomfortable.
180
00:28:17.400 --> 00:28:28.680
Jane Atkinson: With putting an autoresponder on that says i'm on i'm recharging, but I think if you word it correctly and in line with your brand.
181
00:28:29.010 --> 00:28:34.890
Jane Atkinson: It can be powerful for your clients to go oh okay they're walking their talk over there, I think that's really smart.
182
00:28:35.280 --> 00:28:54.390
Jane Atkinson: You know, people will appreciate it, and they will often wait, hopefully, you have someone who is helping to support you and can talk to people in the meantime, but I think downtime is incredibly important, but I think a lot of people are too fearful to do a lot of it, Alan.
183
00:28:54.660 --> 00:28:58.080
Alan Stein, Jr.: yeah well you just said that so beautifully to me the most important part.
184
00:28:59.400 --> 00:29:05.370
Alan Stein, Jr.: is clearly articulating because the communication portion is the most important and just letting them know.
185
00:29:05.820 --> 00:29:13.080
Alan Stein, Jr.: i'm going to be out of office for this period of time and here's why ultimately i'm doing it to be in service of you.
186
00:29:13.770 --> 00:29:25.410
Alan Stein, Jr.: yeah ultimately i'm doing it so when I come back, I will be so recharge that i'll be able to pour into you tenfold so so i'm actually doing you a favor by me stepping away for a little bit and.
187
00:29:25.920 --> 00:29:35.220
Alan Stein, Jr.: And then yeah if you have the ability to say you know if if it's an emergency and you really need me, you can speak to my assistant or here's a cell phone, or whatever you need to do.
188
00:29:35.700 --> 00:29:40.620
Alan Stein, Jr.: If you feel comfortable and certainly you know that's that's most likely dependent.
189
00:29:40.950 --> 00:29:46.440
Alan Stein, Jr.: on how long that you want to unplug, for I think if you're just looking to unplug for three or four days.
190
00:29:46.740 --> 00:29:58.830
Alan Stein, Jr.: Most people will be incredibly gracious with that if you feel the need to take two to three weeks off that I would definitely have some type of Plan B in place that if somebody does need you or a really hot inquiry comes in.
191
00:29:59.460 --> 00:30:07.860
Alan Stein, Jr.: You know you're able to take care of everything, but to me it just comes down to back to what we said earlier, just make sure you're planning in advance.
192
00:30:08.100 --> 00:30:12.900
Alan Stein, Jr.: And you are clearly communicating what you'll be doing, and while you'll be doing it.
193
00:30:13.260 --> 00:30:21.510
Alan Stein, Jr.: And then just have confidence in that and just realize, and I hope every speaker knows this, you know you will never please everyone.
194
00:30:22.140 --> 00:30:26.100
Alan Stein, Jr.: it's a futile attempt to try and don't spend your time worrying about.
195
00:30:26.280 --> 00:30:37.170
Alan Stein, Jr.: The one or two people that could potentially be turned off by you taking time off if you know that is in your best interest, and it is aligned with your core values and allows you to be the best you can be.
196
00:30:37.950 --> 00:30:41.880
Alan Stein, Jr.: Just you go ahead and do it and you do it professionally and with tax.
197
00:30:41.970 --> 00:30:45.540
Alan Stein, Jr.: And with a big smile and i've always believed, things will work out just fine.
198
00:30:45.840 --> 00:30:57.420
Jane Atkinson: I love that and my perfect client does not believe that I need to be available to them 20 473 65 you know, so I think that.
199
00:30:57.810 --> 00:31:00.750
Jane Atkinson: If you really identify what your perfect client.
200
00:31:01.110 --> 00:31:13.200
Jane Atkinson: Who they might be, and set yourself up for success by thinking okay i'm going to take a seven day stretch but i'm going to give myself two hours clear emails on Wednesday or something like that.
201
00:31:13.590 --> 00:31:29.130
Jane Atkinson: I think that we can be reasonable about this, while at the same time, really taking care of ourselves, because not turning off your phone ever is not necessarily managing stress very well wouldn't you say.
202
00:31:29.220 --> 00:31:36.420
Alan Stein, Jr.: Oh boy I think it will heighten it exponentially, I really believe being tethered to screens electronics is.
203
00:31:36.660 --> 00:31:36.780
Jane Atkinson: The.
204
00:31:36.990 --> 00:31:39.660
Jane Atkinson: Minimum, what do you think the minimum would be.
205
00:31:39.900 --> 00:31:45.780
Alan Stein, Jr.: Well, ultimately, it comes back to our own self awareness and knowing how we operate, and I know for myself.
206
00:31:46.350 --> 00:32:03.570
Alan Stein, Jr.: I love structure, I love consistency I love routines So for me it's It gives me comfort to put things in black and white and say you know I do not check my phone, for the first hour after I wake up and I do not check my phone after around seven or 8pm.
207
00:32:04.170 --> 00:32:10.050
Alan Stein, Jr.: Each night and and that you know that gave me comfort putting up very black and white guardrails.
208
00:32:10.650 --> 00:32:18.660
Alan Stein, Jr.: Other people don't have to be as rigid with that other people can have a different process but but i've even gone deeper with different systems and processes as far as.
209
00:32:19.260 --> 00:32:24.660
Alan Stein, Jr.: turning off certain notifications and deleting certain Apps and certain parts of social media off of my phone.
210
00:32:25.650 --> 00:32:40.800
Alan Stein, Jr.: I have rules in my place where you know I only work when i'm in my office when i'm in other parts of my apartment you know I stay I might do something casually like play a word game on my phone or watch a YouTube video but I try not to do work in other areas.
211
00:32:41.280 --> 00:32:46.440
Alan Stein, Jr.: very similar to pavlov's dog i've conditioned myself that when I am in my office.
212
00:32:46.560 --> 00:32:56.280
Alan Stein, Jr.: it's time to be productive and get work done when I am outside of my office it's time to relax recharge and rejuvenate and again that works for me i'm not implying.
213
00:32:56.310 --> 00:32:56.760
Jane Atkinson: that's a good.
214
00:32:57.090 --> 00:33:11.160
Alan Stein, Jr.: for everybody else, but each person needs to have the awareness, to know what types of systems can I put in place that allow me to be my best self and to feel fully charged and full as consistently as possible, yes.
215
00:33:11.610 --> 00:33:26.910
Jane Atkinson: Beautiful beautiful alright so let's tell everybody how they can get in touch with you, and what the best first step might be, of course, we want them to buy your new book sustain your game which is probably available everywhere, I assume.
216
00:33:27.090 --> 00:33:27.960
Alan Stein, Jr.: It sure is.
217
00:33:28.230 --> 00:33:36.510
Alan Stein, Jr.: yeah yeah folks can easily find the Allen sign jr calm, I have a supplemental site stronger team calm.
218
00:33:36.930 --> 00:33:47.250
Alan Stein, Jr.: very easily found on social media at Allen Stein jr I love engaging with folks, especially with fellow speakers so shoot me a DM on instagram or connect on linkedin or.
219
00:33:47.730 --> 00:33:59.760
Alan Stein, Jr.: I don't know when this will release, but if it's before and folks are going to be at NSA his influence in nashville I will be there and would love to to meet any of your listeners and give folks a high five and talks and shop.
220
00:34:00.090 --> 00:34:11.190
Jane Atkinson: awesome I think it might be released before them but i'm not entirely sure Thank you so much for your time today, this has been fabulous for me selfishly speaking.
221
00:34:11.640 --> 00:34:19.950
Jane Atkinson: And I know that our listeners will really appreciate it, and with that we're going to say see you soon wealthy speakers bye for now everyone.
Highlights you won’t want to miss:
- It’s okay to take some downtime. [3:00]
- Stress vs. anxiety. [8:00]
- Don’t compare yourself to others. [14:00]
- Be prepared, but… [19:00]
- Avoiding stagnation. [21:00]
- Beating burnout. [26:00]
- Turn your phone off! [31:30]
In his corporate keynote programs and workshops, Alan reveals how to utilize the same approaches in business that elite athletes use to perform at a world-class level. He delivers practical lessons that can be implemented immediately. His clients include American Express, Pepsi, Sabra, Starbucks, Charles Schwab, Penn State Football, etc.
If you could use some sound advice on how to be as worry-free as possible, you simply can’t afford to miss this episode!
I hope you’ll download and learn.
Links:
Alan’s website
Find Alan’s books here
Alan’s LinkedIn profile
Jane’s LinkedIn profile
The Wealthy Speaker School
